Time's Running a Marathon!

Yesterday my Niece Lacy turned sixteen.  The night before that I attended freshman orientation for Delaney.  In my mind 10 years ago was 1990, not 22 years ago!  When did time not only march, but decide to run a marathon?  I have a step daughter that started high school.  I have a niece that started her Sophomore year.  I remember both of them being born for pete's sake!  I can't be old enough, right?  I hear it's better to embrace the years.  The person that said that probably didn't have wrinkles, still fit into the same clothes they wore in high school and didn't have children growing fast than weeds!  My Niece Kelcy calls for boy advice.  I find myself not sharing what I was doing my freshman year of high school with any of them!  I'm pretty sure that I will be locking my year books away in a safety deposit box to only be opened upon my death, when they will then be delivered to my casket under security, like with semi-automatics, and buried with me.  Holy Smoke!  Have I mentioned in the last few months how joyous I am that we didn't have face book back in the day? 

As this marathon is being ran, I realize that I want to embrace each moment.  I want to be there for Delaney and involved in everything I can be as she goes through her high school years.  I want to figure out how to get to Texas more often.  I want to cheer all of them on from the stands and have shirts made up that announces I'm the crazy Step-Mom and Aunt and embarrass them.  I want to beat up anyone that hurts them and hand out our counseling cards to the parents.  Yes, I know, extreme, but man, you only will have this time once! 

Now that I'm done searching for anxiety treatment centers, I am proud of the girls.  They are awesome young woman who excel in school and are good girls.  I'm blessed they are not into bad things, that they are (for the most part) respectful, know what manners are and they love all types of people.

Today is Robert and mines second month wedding anniversary.  I don't have thank you cards out yet.  We're moving again.  I haven't officially changed my last name with the world, aka the social security office.  I'm deciding if running away from my life is an option?

Much love as I try to find my heavy duty anxiety pills...

Til The Street Lights Came On

I have very much taken for granted my youth and having a sister.  During the summer, depending on age, I was riding my bike to the pool, going over to a friends house, riding my bike up to the DQ, sunbathing in the back yard, planning sleep overs, building forts, on vacation in Oklahoma visiting grandparents, in McPherson with my Aunt and Uncle, staying up and reading until the early hours in the morning and not getting up until noon, where I would then head to the pool and hang out until it was time for my parents to get home.  I would then eat dinner and play outside until the street lights came on.  Then there's all the memories of driving and dragging main and Stop To Shop...but those might need to be another blog...or when Delaney is older and I don't have to worry about her questioning what I type!

Then there's my sister.  There were many of summers that she was in charge of me.  Regardless if we were fighting or best of friends, she was always there for me.  I was never truly alone.  I had someone to confide in, someone to go too when I did something I wasn't supposed too, and to beg for rides when I wanted to go somewhere.

When Delaney asked for a friend to come over and spend a few days, I really didn't hesitate.  One, I really like this friend (super, super sweet) and second, Delaney's stuck in the house all day long with nothing to do but watch TV, deal with the zoo we have and listen to music.  Now, for me, this would be total heaven, but I can see how fast that would become old. I don't know if Delaney had siblings (she does have an older sibling, but she lives in a different state) that were close in age if she would really be thankful for them.  They can be a pain.  But, I also know that there is something to being an only child, friends spread all over a large area, and having parents that work.

I called my childhood BFF, Melissa, and said that I totally understood why our parents where always so happy to agree with our spending many nights out in the yard in our tents or at least at each other's homes.  They didn't have to entertain us, they never had to worry about us, and we always had such a good time.  As I laid in bed last night listening to Delaney and Victoria giggle (and other noises that I don't even want to imagine what they were getting into) I could only smile and my heart was happy.  Delaney was happy.  Sometimes, at the end of the day, that's all it takes.  Your child is happy. 

The Little Moments

Roberts Mom arrived today.  Her name is Maxine.  Delaney calls her Grandma Max.  I will call her Mama Max. 

Delaney and I made a sign for her and met her at the airport.  I cried, Mama Max cried.  It was a beautiful moment.

We took Mama Max to Roberts route so they could see each other and not have to wait until tonight.  They had not see each other in 10 years.  I cried, Mama Max cried, Robert was teary, Delaney was most likley crying on the inside (although I think her eyes had some tears!) and I'm pretty sure Robert's helper was emotional also. 

This is why we didn't elope!  This is why I wanted a simple back yard wedding with our friends and family surrounding us and then time to love on everyone.  This is exactly what I wanted my wedding to be! 

Did ya all know I get married in four days?  Did ya all know that it's hotter than all get out and I'm getting married in four days in this heat?  Did I mention Mama Max is from Washington State and she's not liking this heat too much?  No?  Well, it's all true, my friends!

What's In A Name?

I have 31 days to determine how I will write my new name.  Do I keep my maiden name and do hyphen?  Do I just do what I normally do and write my first name, middle initial and then my new last name?

I think names are so important.  I love unique, but not weird.  I love sentimental and traditional.  I love strong names and names that make a statement.  I guess that's why, of all the things I have to worry about in the next 31 days, how I write my name is important to me!

Oh, and can someone PLEASE remind me to get the marriage license?  

From the almost: Jonya R. Dusing, Jonya Ulm-Dusing, Jonya R. Ulm-Dusing

Jonya's Thoughts Thursday

These are my thoughts right now:

1. I'm getting married six weeks from Saturday.
2. I'm moving from my current office to down the hall four weeks from tomorrow.  I will lose my windows and will, once again, be working in a cave.
3. Robert has started coaching softball for the summer.  Practices are two times a week and games are one to two times a week.  In case you are math challenged like I am...that means he is gone three to four nights a week for eight weeks.
4. I forgot the password to the RSVP address I set up for the wedding.  I had to reset it with a new one. 
5.  I remembered at 5:00 a.m. this morning two more people that I forgot to send wedding invitations too.
6.  My landlord is very ill and without typing out a novel, we will be moving again after the wedding.
7.  Baby will have to learn a new home and I worry about her hurting herself in the process.
8.  Delaney will begin staying with us for two weeks at a time beginning the first week in June.  I need to plan meals/food for her to eat and plan dinner so she is fed. 
9.  I will have to start coming into work early so that I'm home at a decent hour to care for said teen above.
10.  I have finally fit into my pants from last summer, that are smaller than the ones I have been able to wear the last four months.
11.  I'm afraid  my wedding dress will not fit due to being able to fit in my smaller pants.  My dress fitting is tomorrow.  I don't want to get yelled at and wondering if I can stuff the corset?
12.  I wish I would have eloped.
13.  Airline tickets are super cheap right now and I want to buy tickets for the cruise Robert and I want to go on. 
14.  I need to pay for the wedding before I plan the honeymoon.
15.  I should've only had one soda today instead of two.
16.  My pants are killing me since I've ate lunch.  Maybe I'm not quite ready for this size...there's hope for tomorrow's dress fitting.
17.  I need to get contacts.
18.  I forgot to have lab work done at my doctor this week.
19.  I have so many piles on my desk I have no idea what I'm doing and where I was at with any of my projects. 
20.  Really ready to go home.
21.  I think as a coaches wife I need to buy some cute outfits to wear to the games.
22.  I wonder if we should try to find a home and buy it in the next few months or find a place to rent and take the year we had originally planned on to safe?  I wonder if we will be able to find a place to rent with two huge dogs and a cat?
23.  I really need to start working again.
24.  I think I might need a heavy duty anxiety pill tonight.
25.  I'm so excited my Mom is coming tomorrow and staying most of the week.

I feel so much better.  Thanks for listening.  You can just bill me! 

Almost Step-Mom

Time is sneaking up on me.  If you ask Robert, and please don't, he will be able to tell you how many days, hours, minutes, and seconds before we are married.  As that time draws nearer, I'm reminded of one of the best parts of this marriage thing...I'm becoming a Step-Mom! 

Every time I hear Step-Mom I think of the movie.  That movie mashes buttons in my soul.  Now, more so, that I'm actually experiencing some of the exact same things it portrays.  Each character resonates with me, although I never thought I would be a Step-Mom.  I have even thanked and talked to my own Step-Mom, Tanda, letting her know how much I appreciate her and the role that she plays in my life.  I have also apologized for the things that I might have said or done because I was not always a nice Step Daughter.  Thank goodness I have a wonderful relationship with her now and she seems to only remember me as "good" (stop rolling your eyes!). 

There are so many times that I have felt left out of moments in time with friends and family because I was unable to grasp this entire parenting/living for someone else/responsibility/trying to do the right thing by your kid.  I totally get it now!  I'm not even really parenting...just driving slower, trying not to cuss, when I do cuss trying to use words that aren't too bad, being mindful of my actions as they might be copied, reminding Delaney that she shouldn't say/do the things I just did because that is naughty, bribing her not to tell her Dad how many times I cuss, and trying to figure out how my Mom was such an awesome Mom when faced with so many challenges.  One of which was raising me! 

I have the blessing and fond memories of holding Delaney at half a day old (she was so tiny, looked just like her Daddy and had the most perfect skin) and watching her grow into this amazing teenager.  I can't say that it has been easy, but I can say without a doubt, that it's the best thing that has happen to me in an extremely long time.  The love I have for Delaney only grows and I cherish the relationship we have.  Now, if I can just convince her a little bling bling is a GOOD thing...

Play Nice

I know not everyone has had the pleasure of dealing with an ex spouse.  For those of you that don't fall in this category, I hope you never do.  For me and my ex...we get along just fine. 

There is another category considered ex spouses.  Its where you are in a relationship and your significant other has an ex.  I'm not going to trash anyone so don't get all into a tizzy (anyone wanting the scoop just call me, wink wink), but I do think that they should have specific classes on this issues for those of us that live in the world of rainbows and unicorns.  I understand that there are hurt feelings involved.  Feelings of jealously.  Being replaced might even come to mind if kids are involved.  It's not a competition. It isn't necessary to make pubic tantrums and have high school melt downs. There's a reason you all aren't together anymore!  Get over it and move on and keep the trap shut in front of your kids, their friends and their friends parents!  Yes, there should be rules! 

And yes, I did say that one of my ex's "friends" had a horse face, but I consider that factual.   I'm just saying!