Losing GaGa

                                                  

Delaney lost her GaGa today.  Those words alone being me to tears.  I can't believe she is gone! She was the glue for her family.  I have known Lou for over 15 years.  In those years I spent as many with her and her family as I did my own! I have gone through many, many deaths in my life, although I have never dealt with someone here one minute and gone the next.  It has always been a long illness or an accident/injury and you have time to say your goodbye's.

Robert had just picked up Delaney (Delaney and her Mom (Shelli) live with GaGa) and as Delaney was getting her things ready Robert and Lou talked about the roads. Robert told Lou to be careful on her way to work.  An hour later she was gone.  I have came to the understanding we may never know the "why" of anything that happens here on Earth.  It doesn't make the loss or circumstances any easier, but my faith is the only thing I can rely on to get me through these moments. I have to believe God has a plan.  A plan that is better and bigger than any one of us can comprehend.  

Robert is struggling.  He was married to Shelli for over 22+ years and Lou was his Mom as much as his own. He also had to watch his daughter cry her heart out today, and most likely many more days to come.  I am blessed that Robert and me were allowed to mourn with the family at the hospital and to be apart of those unbelievable moments when all you can do is love on one another. 

These are the things I will miss most about Lou (no particular order):

1. She always had her hair dyed a crazy color.  Dark black, red and most recently purple.

2. Depending on the holiday, she would wear bunny ears in her hair, Valentine's Day hearts, reindeer antlers, etc

3. On many holidays, there was not an inch of her yard not covered with blow ups, and other decorations to mark the special occasion.

4. She was always on hand for her grand-kids activities and was the loudest voice in the stands or on the sideline.

5. She had the BEST laugh!

6. She cussed and said words that made even me blush!  I have to say that I have added a few of her favorites to my vocabulary over the years.

7. She will miss the birth of her second great grandchild.  

8. When she hugged you there was a chance of some broken ribs.

9. She welcomed people into her home and family without a second thought.

10. She made really good grub! 

11. She was an extremely hard worker.

Heavenly Father, I pray that GaGa has found her way to you and is already in your loving arms.  That she knows she was loved and will be missed here on earth.  I pray that you wrap the family left to mourn in your embrace and let them grieve and ask questions, but give them peace and remind them of the good memories to get them through the heartache.  Please take away the stress and the questions of the future and give each person knowledge that all things happen in your time and you will not leave them or forsake them and will carry them when they are no longer able to walk on their own. I am thankful, Father, for having known Lou and for you allowing her the years she was here on earth. I pray for protection and safety for those traveling to be here to celebrate Lou's life. Thank you, Father, for loving us and allowing us to not fear death, as we are promised eternal rest through your Son, Jesus Christ. I pray these things in your precious Son's name. Amen!

The Simpler Life

I have started reading a series about the Amish community by Shelley Shepard Gray. My Mom told me about it and it is exactly what I needed to read at this time.  It's just enough romance, humor, real life and fun knowledge of the Amish to keep me interested.

It got me thinking.  I would love to be living in the simple times of these people. But then I realize how much I would have to give up.  My shopping, my high heals, my makeup, my bling-bling, my fast food...the list is endless.  I have decided that I can adopt some of their simpler ways of life into my own and see if I can find a nice balance.

Could you live within the Amish world?

Modesty

I don't have any!  As was apparent yesterday when I had x-rays done and I was told to take everything off from the waist up.  And then I stood there talking to the nurse in nothing but clothes on from the waist down. And then she politely told me that I could put on one of the "paper shirts". That were laying there on the bench where I had just thrown all of my clothes...that I obviously didn't see...and felt really stupid.  This is not the first time that I have done something like that.  It's not that I think I have a gorgeous body. I'm just comfortable in my own skin.  And walk around the house naked.  And pee with the door open and sometimes do it when we have guests because I forget that in the real world that is not acceptable behavior.  And Robert and Delaney laugh at me.  Robert can undress in front of me, but not pee in front of me.  Delaney does NOT walk around in anything but clothes.  And she is a modest sweet girl.  Who I sometimes envy.  And then I try it. And it takes me forever because I didn't bring everything with me I needed to the bathroom. And the clothes I want are in the laundry room and I have no idea where the half dozen robes I own are! And this entire time cursing because I would have already been dressed and out the door had I just went naked from point A to point B to point C back to point A. And I think wrapping a towel around you as you dart across the hallway from the bathroom to the bedroom is acceptable! And I think having a bra and underwear on as you make your way through the house to the laundry room for that shirt you need out of the dryer is ok, also.

I wonder how many people I have sent to the hospital with trauma to their corneas?  I'm surprised I haven't received the bills for therapy from my neighbors!

Blessings Counted

I have been overwhelmed with sadness for the families that have taken to facebook to share their tragic losses.  Not sadden because they are sharing, but that there are so many families with BIG losses.  And yet, they are finding the courage to face each day and then to document their journey for others.  It occurs to me that the facebook accounts are set up, I'm sure, to keep loved ones in the loop.  But then they take on a life of their own with so many people reaching out and praying for these families.  It's such an awe inspiring moment for me to witness.  I don't know these people that I am praying for, but prayer is universal.  God doesn't need us to "know" the people in the prayers we raise up to Him; He hears our prayers and answers.  And I believe in the power of prayer.  So, I will continue to hit "like" on these stories that touch my heart, pray for their specific needs and be grateful that there is still good in this evil world!

If you would like to follow some of these awe inspiring stories, I have included the links below!
https://www.facebook.com/PrayingForTheNevils?ref=stream
https://www.facebook.com/BringingHomeTheBrowns?ref=stream

There are also a few "hometown" stories I am following with loved ones that are sick. As soon as I have an actual link to their pages I will post those also.

God's In Control

It has been awhile since I last shared my thoughts.  

The biggest thing that has happened since September is that I quit my job.  God gave me plenty of opportunities and signs that it needed to be done, but I thought I knew better and second guested His plans for me.  So, God put me in a situation that I had no choice but to leave.  I'm thankful.  I get asked over and over if I miss it. I can honestly say that I don't. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that I truly got caught up in the "we're a family" thing and believed it.  In the end the people that I worked with were co-workers. It has been a very tough lesson, but one I know I went through because there is a plan.  I have decided that I want to do something fun my next "job".  I don't want a career; I just want a paycheck. I'm not saying that eventually I won't go back to "I'm going to save the world" mode. Right now it's about healing.  And enjoying being married and being a step mom.  And watching Zoe grow and watching Monkey expand in the rear, if you know what I mean? 

Last, because being a step mom has been one of the greatest gifts God has given me thus far, I'm going to brag on my Laney Girl.  She has been getting straight A's.  She has started some new classes, one of them being art and she is AWESOME!  She is also trying out for the soccer team at Campus.  My time with Delaney is cherished and I wish I had more time with her.  What a bright spot she is in my life! 

We Marry Our Dad's!

I'm not sure if this is completely true.  I see similarities of my friends and family between dad and husband.  But sometimes I don't get it so I'm confident it's not a scientific fact. 

I will say for me, I have married a man that reminds me so much of my Step Daddy that I honest and truly cry.  Daddy is very much on my heart as his birthday was Saturday.  A day that Robert and I celebrated with cooking out on the grill...just like we would've done had Daddy still been with us.  Robert will say things that my Daddy said, will make facial expressions that are right on and will get wound up over the little things, just like my Daddy.   I guess when that special person is in your life and you were loved, cared for and secure you seek that out in your adult relationships. I would give up much to have one more day with Daddy.  Not for myself, but to allow Robert and him to fish and to sit in silence and say so very much without one word spoken.

I wonder if Robert feels like he married his Mother?  YIKES!!!

THE MOVE

I feel as if I need to capitalize MOVE as it was quite the move, indeed!  I knew it would be stressful, I just had no idea how stressful! 

If you don't already know this about me, I like to be in control of all things big and small.  I also believe that everyone should think as I do.  Are you laughing, yet?  I learned a long time ago that this is not a possibility, or what I like to refer to as "My Happy Place" cannot and does not exist.  Although I still like to pretend!  This is why I take anxiety pills.

I don't want to go into my weekend.  I want to focus on the positive.  Robert, Delaney, Baby Sixx, Monkey, Zoe, Willow Joy and myself have a beautiful home that I am so happy to be in.  It has a lot of character, it's bigger than our other place and it has a back yard for the dogs to play in.  From now on I will just refer to THE MOVE and shudder!

Oh, and did anyone happen to be in Little Caesars on Harry and witnessed the crazy lady yelling at the manager about other patrons walking out with her pizza and having to wait 10 min for hot and ready's that were already done...how horrible was that? Coincidentally, does anyone know of another Little Caesars in the area of Pawnee and Woodlawn/Oliver?  Again, totally coincidence, I'm banned from the one on Harry.